


"You are the worst thief I have ever heard of." "But you HAVE heard of me."

by sunshinestealer



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, M/M, Oop, bank manager!Mako, bank robber!Jamie, this was based off a comic i saw on tumblr
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-08
Updated: 2017-07-08
Packaged: 2018-11-14 03:24:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11199462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunshinestealer/pseuds/sunshinestealer
Summary: "So you would like to open an account with us, sir?""Yup!""I'm going to need your name.""Robin.""Robin...""Banks.""You've got to be fucking kidding me."Normal!AU in which Mako is a bank manager trying to have a normal day until a (not so) renowned bank robber shows up.





	"You are the worst thief I have ever heard of." "But you HAVE heard of me."

It had been a fairly normal morning in the bank, all things considered. There were the usual customers, paying in cheques, bills and transferring money to different accounts... Mako had even handed over a cute new piggybank to a Junior Saver that morning.

He had joined the staff of the town bank on a programme that helped to place former convicts into paid work after their prison sentence was up. After his decade in prison for burglary and manslaughter, Mako was quite heavily tattooed, even with his new suit mostly covering them up, but Mako had proved himself over the past four years as an upstanding member of society and had even scored several promotions due to his skills with money. His co-workers even made jokes about how the townspeople were now literally trusting their money to a former criminal. Still, Mako had done a lot to earn that trust - he attended charity drives, organised the bank's semi-annual fundraising dinner and was even a weekend volunteer at an animal sanctuary. Despite his frightening stature of nearly 7 feet with a 250 kilo girth and a resting glare that could strip paint, many people had learned to look past it - and Mako had responded in kind.

It all started when he was on the shift for helping out with the ATM. Usually it was the older set, who didn't quite understand which way to place their cheques into the feeder or pay in a whole jar of coins, but the bank floor was somewhat empty. Fair enough, it  _was_ nearing lunchtime.

That was, until he saw a new customer come in, wearing a suit that appeared to be two sizes too big. The kind you buy as a tall person because at least there's more fabric than something that  _actually_ fits you, but still. The man was roughly six feet five inches tall, with patchy blond hair and wearing sunglasses indoors for no particular reason. Maybe it was because he'd been 

"Hello, mate!" He said, with a swagger in his step, approaching Mako.

That face was oddly familiar to Mako, but he put it out of his mind and went immediately into his customer service voice.

"Good afternoon, sir. How may I help you today?"

"I'd like to see a manager," the customer grinned. "Gonna... er...  _open an account."_

 _Subtle_.

Mako narrowed his eyes, but beckoned the customer to follow him towards a vacant office. Thankfully, it was the one containing a desk with a panic button underneath. He found them both a seat, logging into the computer station and found the required paperwork for opening an account, passing it over to Jamie.

He then made himself busy, setting up the online banking page in case the 'customer' wanted to open that up as well and get the app downloaded on his phone.

"Done!" The customer chirped, pushing the paper back over.

Mako examined it. Good god, the man's writing was basically chicken-scratch - but still somewhat legible. What you'd expect from somebody writing with their non-dominant hand, but worse. "Your name is Robin."

"Mmhm!"

"Banks."

"Yeah, I know, right? Me parents thought they were so clever."

Mako screwed up the paper in his hand.

The customer gasped, but the fleeting panic on his face was enough for Mako to know that he _knew_ he'd been caught. "Hey, mate, you can't do that!" 

"I can. You aren't exactly good at this whole... robbing banks business."

The customer continued playing dumb. "Could I see somebody else? Honestly, you can't refuse service to a guy because of his name!"

"I can." Mako said. "You're just out of prison in a rented suit that's too big for you."

He blinked. "N-nah, mate, you got it wrong!"

"What, that the suit was rented? Or stolen?" He raised an eyebrow, then pulled up his own shirt sleeves. Around his large forearm was a tattoo - with an insignia of the prison he'd been incarcerated in only a few years ago. 

The customer whistled. "Maximum security, eh?"

Mako groaned, wondering if he could somehow make it less obvious that he was reaching for the panic button as they spoke. What kind of thief carried out a heist like this nowadays?

"You're alone?"

"'S how I work best!"

"Bank robbery like this," Mako said darkly, "you'd need a whole crew with cars and getaway drivers, burner phones, some base of operations mapping out your escape route, some dirty cop in the police force, an' some nerd who can disable the cameras and get into our vault system."

The prospective robber paused, then burst out laughing. "Never thought I'd get advice from a bank manager on how to rob a bank!"

The glare he got from Mako was enough to strip paint. "I can press the panic button under this desk and lock you in. Or you can leave of your own volition as a free man."

"And what if I come back with all me mates for a heist?"

"Get. Out."

'Robin' rolled his eyes, then slipped out of the chair, with Mako keen to follow him out onto the customer floor just in case the man really  _was_ packing a weapon.

As Mako strong-armed him through the door, the robber let out a soft gasping noise, followed by a salacious grin.

"I'm yer new biggest fan,  _Roadhog_ ," he giggled, before sauntering off down the street to return his suit.

Mako just turned back around, explained to his colleagues why he had bodily removed a customer from the building, then headed off for his lunch. If that rat came back again, he would relish the challenge - but for now, it could wait.


End file.
